i have an online friend who is attempting to adopt a son from bulgaria, apparently from a really poor orphanage. she is entered into this contest. i have been watching videos of her child and looking at pictures and it just breaks my heart to see a little kiddo like this.
he seems to remind me of jace, but they aren't really similar except that they're little boys. still makes me want to go scoop the poor little guy up.

Being a disciple

This week's lesson is from "The Essence of Discipleship" from April General Conference, given by Silvia H. Allred.

From the beginning of time, the Lord has taught that to become His people we need to be of one heart and one mind. The Savior also explained that the two great commandments in the law are "Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind" and "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Lastly, soon after the Church was restored, the Lord commanded the Saints to "visit the poor and the needy and administer to their relief."
What is the common theme in all these commandments? It is that we must love one another and serve one another. This is, in fact, the essence of discipleship in the true Church of Jesus Christ.

This reminds me of the scripture that is found in Mosiah 2:17:

And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom, that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God.

James E. Faust had this to say:

The word for disciple and the word for discipline both come from the same Latin root—discipulus, which means pupil. It emphasizes practice or exercise. Self-discipline and self-control are consistent and permanent characteristics of the followers of Jesus, as exemplified by Peter, James, and John, who indeed “forsook all, and followed him.”
What is discipleship? It is primarily obedience to the Savior. Discipleship includes many things. It is chastity. It is tithing. It is family home evening. It is keeping all the commandments. It is forsaking anything that is not good for us. Everything in life has a price. Considering the Savior’s great promise for peace in this life and eternal life in the life to come, discipleship is a price worth paying. It is a price we cannot afford not to pay. By measure, the requirements of discipleship are much, much less than the promised blessings.

Let us consider some of the things Jesus did that we can all emulate.
1. Jesus “went about doing good.” 6 We can all do something good every day—for a family member, a friend, or even a stranger—if we will look for those opportunities.
2. Jesus was the Good Shepherd who watched over His sheep and had concern for those that were lost. 7 We can seek out the lonely or those who are less active and befriend them.
3. Jesus had compassion on many, including a poor leper. 8 We too can have compassion. We are reminded in the Book of Mormon that we are “to mourn with those that mourn.” 9
4. Jesus bore witness of His divine mission and of His Father’s great work. For our part, we can all “stand as witnesses of God at all times.” 10
5. Jesus invited “the little children to come unto [Him].” 11 Our children need our attention and love as well as our care.

In caring for others, the church began a welfare program. Sister Allred:

As we celebrate 75 years of the Church welfare program, we are reminded of the purposes of welfare, which are to help members help themselves become self-reliant, to care for the poor and needy, and to give service. The Church has organized its resources to assist members to provide for the physical, spiritual, social, and emotional well-being of themselves, their families, and others.

What are some things the welfare program does?
•Fast offerings from members used to provide help for others
•Family services, counseling, adoption services
•Bishop storehouses
•The DI - helps employ and train, and provides help to locals as well as humanitarian efforts
•Job help, employment centers
•Emergency preparedness for families and internationally
Sister Allred:

The office of bishop carries with it a special mandate to care for the poor and needy and to administer such resources for the members in his ward. He is assisted in his efforts by priesthood quorums, Relief Society, and in particular, home and visiting teachers.

The bishop is charged with the responsibility of finding out who in the ward is in need and to chart a course for them to become self-reliant again. This is where the Relief Society, as well as the Elders Quorum and other members, can help through discipleship.
When home/visiting teachers end their visits (as they usually do) by asking, "Is there anything we can do?" be sure to tell them if there is. We need to be prepared to accept help and to offer it in our callings. This is partially how the bishop finds out who needs his help.
Relief Society is the way for us as women to help and serve.
Sister Allred:

Relief Society has always been at the heart of welfare. When the Prophet Joseph Smith organized the Relief Society in 1842, he said to the women, "This is the beginning of better days to the poor and needy." He told the sisters that the purpose of the society was "relief of the poor, the destitute, the widow and the orphan, and for the exercise of all benevolent purposes.. They will pour in oil and wine to the wounded heart of the distressed; they will dry up the tears of the orphan and make the widow's heart to rejoice."

The men are able to provide priesthood authority in service, but still need the help of the women of the church to assist them.
Sister Allred:

He also stated that the society "might provoke the brethren to good works in looking to the wants of the poor - searching after objects of charity, and in administering to their wants - to assist by correcting the morals and strengthening the virtues of the community."
Men and women of the Church participate jointly today in bringing relief to those in need. Priesthood holders provide essential support for those needing spiritual guidance and help. Inspired home teachers bless lives and provide the blessings of the gospel to every family unit. In addition, they lend their strength and talents in other ways, such as helping a family in need of home repairs, in helping a family move, or in helping a brother find needed employment.

Service doesn't always have to have the "welfare feel" to it, meaning food. Welfare can also refer to the well being of spirit and emotion. We can help one another by doing simple things like lending a hand in babysitting or petsitting, giving our talents to bless one another, or lending an ear.
Sister Allred:

Relief Society presidents visit homes to assess the needs for a bishop. Inspired visiting teachers watch over and care for sisters and families. They are often the first response in times of immediate need. Relief Society sisters provide meals, render compassionate service, and give constant support during times of trial.

This paragraph made me think about how sisters may be important because we might be quicker to open up to one another about the needs of our families and ourselves.
What are some ways we can be self-reliant?
•Food storage
•Eliminate debt
•Stash some money
•Water supply
•Education
•Emergency plans
•Build up testimonies
•Learn some "old school skills" (canning, gardening)
Sister Allred:

As we increase our own level of self-reliance, we increase our ability to help and serve others the way the Savior did. We follow the Savior's example when we minister to the sick, and the suffering. When loves becomes the guiding principle in our care for others, our service to them becomes the gospel in action. It is the gospel in its finest moment. It is pure religion.

We should remember others in our prayers and pray for guidance to find those that we need to be aware of. Also remember that our prayers can be answered through other people that Heavenly Fathers sends to help us. Being self-reliant as well as giving service to others will give us peace in a tumultuous world, joy in emulating Jesus Christ, and companionship in our fellow Church members.

Speaking in Church

Seems like I've done a lot of this lately :)

Following the Example of Jesus Christ

There are many things that Jesus did in His life on Earth that we can learn from -

•He served others
•He was humble
•He spoke with our Heavenly Father frequently
•He administered to the sick
•He resisted temptations

These are all important things for us to learn to do in our own lives. However, I’ve picked just my favorite three things to learn from Jesus' ministry to speak about today.

1. He loved and blessed the little children.

Elder Jay E. Jensen of the Seventy said,

"Sculptors and artists have attempted to capture in their work the beauty, purity, innocence and loveliness of little children. Parents photograph their children from birth and frame the precious pictures and display them in their homes. In some of the Church's films and videos, the scriptwriters, camera operators, producers, and directors have succeeded in capturing… the deepest of human emotions with portrayals of children. Of the well-known Christmas film Mr. Kreuger's Christmas, it was reported to me that in filming the scene with Jimmy Stewart talking to the newborn Jesus, all the equipment was to be operating perfectly because, he said, "I have only one of these in me," meaning that the deep and tender feelings associated with his expressions of love for Jesus could not be repeated. It was too tender and heart wrenching. What do all these scenes have in common? They show how priceless our children are. Little children are so lovely, innocent, teachable, honest, cheerful, submissive, optimistic, and pure and have a host of other attributes. They are everything Jesus held them up to be."

In Matthew chapter 9 verses 13 to 15, we find

"Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. And he laid his hands on them."

The new generations of the world are under attack. It is our responsibility to love and try to bless our children as Jesus did. We must help them to grow in the gospel, to learn to make righteous choices, to yearn to be baptized one day.

Be sure to pray for your children and the children of others. Pray for wayward children to find their way home to Heavenly Father. Help your own children to learn to honor their father and mother, as they must learn to honor their Savior and Heavenly Father.

2. Jesus followed God’s will for Him, even when He didn’t want to.

In Luke chapter 22, verse 42 we read the notable line,

“Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

Children singing in primary will hear this refrain “I will go, I will do the things the Lord commands”. We are taught every week in church that we should follow the Lord’s commandments and do that which He asks of us, even when the road seems hard or it is a task we do not wish to do. Thus, it was very important in Jesus’ life that He set the example for us. Jesus did as the Lord asked Him. Even though He was a perfect being, it was not always pleasant for Him to follow the commandments of God.

In the verse following Jesus asking Father in Heaven to allow this trial to pass from him, we can read

“And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.”

Heavenly Father recognizes when we are willing to follow his directions. He will bless us with the ability to carry out our duties.

Elder Marion G. Romney said,

“During my early teens a small book titled “What Would Jesus Do?” came into my hands… The question posed epitomized the desire I had had from my childhood. Countless times as I have faced challenges and vexing decision I have asked myself, ‘What would Jesus do?’… As I pondered that question, I turned to the scriptures in search of the answer: Jesus would always do the will of His Father. This He Himself repeatedly declared… ‘I do nothing of myself, but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things. And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.’ (John 8:28 & 29) Having learned that Jesus would always do the will of His Father, my next objective was to find out what Jesus would do to ascertain the will of His Father. Searching the New Testament, I discovered that one thing he did was to thoroughly familiarize himself with what his father had declared his will to be, as recorded in the Old Testament.”

We should make sure to familiarize ourselves with Heavenly Father’s commandments through prayer and scripture study and be prepared to go and do.

3. Jesus forgave others.


My favorite example of Jesus forgiving is found in John, chapter 8. Scribes and Pharisees brought before Jesus a woman who was said to have committed adultery. Jesus said, “he who is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her”. The men all left, knowing they were not without sin. Jesus showed the woman that no one accused her, and said, “neither do I condemn thee, go and sin no more. “
Jesus set the perfect example of forgiveness for us. He showed how we should condemn the act of sin, but to strive to forgive those who do wrong against us.

Elder James E Faust said,

“Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.”

Elder Faust also notes,

“Of course, society needs to be protected from hardened criminals, because mercy cannot rob justice. Bishop Williams addressed this concept so well when he said, “Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences.”

This ties in well with remembering to love our enemies, to hate the sin and love the sinner.

Heavenly Father also stands ready to offer His forgiveness unto us. We should remember to use the atoning sacrifice Jesus Christ performed for us, and ask for that forgiveness from our Father in Heaven.

In closing, here are some lines from one of my favorite children’s hymns. I try to remember these words when I feel frustrated or burdened down by the world.

I’m trying to be like Jesus; I’m following in his ways.
I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,
Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.

Relief Society Lesson

This lesson comes from a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott. It's called "The Eternal Blessings of Marriage".

The temple sealing has greater meaning as life unfolds. It will help you draw ever closer together and find greater joy and fulfillment.

As far as relief society is concerned, it was a slightly more difficult talk to prepare from because it is given from an Elder's point of view. So I had to think a little differently to make it relevant for women, but there is still a lot of good information in here.

The first thing I liked was this quote from
Elder Scott -

My precious wife, Jeanene, and two of our children are beyond the veil. They provide a powerful motivation for each remaining member of our family to live so that together we will receive all of the eternal blessings promised in the temple.

I found this interesting because sometimes it's easy to think, "Okay, I've gone to the temple, I'm sealed to my spouse. I'm all set!" We need to remember that that isn't true - we need to stay worthy of those ordinances that were performed in the temple.

What are some ways that we can stay worthy of our temple covenants?

• clean speech
• prayer
• pay tithing
• attend church
• maintain testimony
• chastity (yes, it's still important after marriage!)
• faithfulness
• study the gospel
• modest (also still important!)

As I was looking these values up online, I came across a quote that I liked -

One who goes into the house of the Lord must be free from any unclean, unholy, impure, or unnatural practice.

An excellent tip for remembering these values is to think of the questions you must answer when you are in an interview for a temple recommend. When you come across a difficult situation, imagine if the choice you might make would alter your ability to receive a temple recommend. Then you will know if you are staying true to your temple covenants.

Remember that these values are important before and after you are married!

Not only do we need to remember these values for ourselves, but to show our children how important they are by example. They will learn to live these ideals in their own lives, which will help to "put them in the path" of a worthy spouse later on.

Marriage and the family are important pillars in Heavenly Father's plan of happiness for us. When we honor our marriages, there are spillover benefits for our children. They learn to -

• resolve issues. They see that mom and dad have their disagreements but can work through them and still care for one another.
• appropriately express love for others, and when these expressions need to be confined to marriage.
• create family unity and treat each other kindly.

Elder Scott has this to say about marriage and the family -

Their lofty significance is underscored by Satan's relentless efforts to splinter the family and to undermine the significance of temple ordinances, which bind the family together for eternity.

In what ways might Satan try to splinter families?

• negativity between family members
• busy, full schedules
• lack of scripture study, church attendance, prayers
• "checked out" parents
• popular world views

Elder Scott shares a story about an experience with his wife. He once came home from a long business trip to find his wife washing clothes by hand. Their washing machine was out of order, so he started to fix it for her. She asked, "What are you doing?" He replied, "I am fixing the washing machine." She told him to go play with their children. He said, "But I want to help you out." She said, "Please, go play with the children."

He obeyed. They spent the day rolling in the leaves and having a great time together. Later, he was awakened by one of his children hugging him and saying, "Dad, I love you. You are my best friend."

It is important to ask ourselves, "Am I enjoying my time on earth together with my family?" We must remember to keep an eternal perspective on our time here, even in times of frustration or trial.

There is another story of Elder Scott's child who had a heart problem. One night, he and his wife woke up to their little boy crying. Rather than have his wife take care of him, he went to him. His little heart would beat rapidly, making him sick and causing him to throw up. Elder Scott held the child close as he changed him and cleaned up the bed. He held his son until he fell asleep.

Only months later, the child passed away. What an opportunity he had to spend some time with his son, even when it was late at night. It could have been easy to be upset about being woken up, but he was able to cherish his time with his son. We need to remember to enjoy even the hardest moments.

Let's talk about after we are married. What are some ways we can continue to build up our eternal union?

• family prayers and scripture study
• kindness
• soft spoken with one another
• gentle
• verbalize love
• express true gratitude
• listening
• faithful to spouse physically as well as mentally
• not critical
• supportive

The newest Ensign (September) had a great article on this. Rosana Pontes Barbosa Neves gave some ideas that she and her husband use to strengthen themselves as a couple -

1. Pray together every day.

2. Ask for forgiveness.

3. Never speak evil of each other.

4. Defend the institution of marriage.

5. Talk a lot and listen.

6. Continue to seek help and counsel about marriage from the scriptures and the words of modern prophets. **

**There is more to these, but for brevity, I'm not going to type it all here. Go look it up!

Elder Scott tells of a time that he used the circles of paper produced by a hole-puncher to write a note to his wife. He wrote the numbers 1 - 100 on one side, and a single word on the other side. His wife had to sort them out to read the message.

After she had passed away, he found this note among her personal things. She had pasted each circle to a paper and then laminated the note, like a treasure. I related to this because I keep the notes Jeff and I have written to one another. I don't know about ALL guys, but I'd venture a guess that most may not necessarily treasure notes the way wives might, so we need to think about things that our husbands might appreciate and treasure.

Some ideas my husband gave me -

• fill up the gas tank when I notice it is low
• cooking dinner (or helping, at the very least!)
• not nagging about things that need to be done
• let him have a break when he gets home from work before yapping about the day I just had

In closing, marriage and eternal families can be a joy in our lives. Elder Scott said -

Marriage provides an ideal setting for overcoming any tendency to be selfish or self-centered. ..It is so rewarding to be married. Marriage is wonderful. In time you begin to think alike and have the same ideas and impressions. You have times when you are extremely happy, times of testing, and times of trial, but the Lord guides you through all of those growth experiences together.

Through marriage, we can learn and grow to a level that we aren't able to by ourselves.

Some of the blessings we receive when we honor our temple marriage are -

• less arguing
• happier children
• issues work out more easily
• respect and love
• learning to communicate
• companionship
• trials we experience mean more

It is my prayer that we can all remember the values that are important and the covenants we make in the temple so that we can have happier families and be together after this life on Earth.

Of Prophets and Bears

I had to give a little talk in church about a story that I wasn't familiar with. At Barbara's suggestion, I decided to figure out the story of the prophet Elisha and sending bears to eat little kids.

Turns out this is a popular passage to use when pointing out how mean God is to have a bear eat some kids for poking fun at someone.

So the prophet Elijah had just been translated and Elisha took up the mantle (which was like a cloak or shawl, symbolic of passing of prophetic authority). He was heading back across the river Jordan and stayed a little while in Jericho, and then he was on his way to Bethel.

2 Kings 2:23 and 24 -

23 And he went up from thence unto Beth-el: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Unfortunately I could hardly find a thing about this passage from a reliable LDS source, but there were plenty of other sources of Christian opinion on this. Hopefully I got it right.

First thing to notice is that "little children" in the scripture has a footnote next to it. The actual translation of this should read "youths", or "lads". A lot of the sources I read noted that the same word was used to describe Joseph back in Genesis, translated as "lad", and that he was about 17 or 18. So don't picture little 2 and 3 year olds. These were probably "youths" anywhere from 13 to late 20s.

Next thing to look at is the notation for "mocked". It references the topical guide, and says "persecution and profanity". If you look those words up in the topical guide, you find things like "cruelty, malice, hate", and "blasphemy and swearing". If you read the passage and imagine kids saying things like "Ha ha, you're so funny looking!", then you're picturing it wrong. This sounds like very mean, hateful speech in Elisha's direction.

Something I thought was interesting was the phrase "Go up". It's noted that Elijah had just been taken to heaven, so that statement could be perceived as a sort of death threat. They were telling him essentially to "go up" to heaven.

I never did figure out if he was actually bald or not :)

Cursing them in the name of the Lord wasn't used like a retaliation or to argue or anything like that. Basically Elisha was saying to Heavenly Father, "Here are these men who are behaving inappropriately. I'm passing their judgement onto You". He was letting Heavenly Father deal with them in the way He saw fit.

And then the bears. First of all, the bears "tore" these people, they didn't eat them. Secondly, it may seem awfully harsh, but that's where the message lies that I took from it.

It's showing us that God takes His mouthpiece here on earth very seriously. We should treat the words of the prophet as seriously as we would were it Heavenly Father standing right before us and giving us commandments. The bears can be seen symbolically as what the adversary may do to our spirits if we "poke fun" at what the prophet has to say to us.

And there you are, the story of the poor children being eaten by bears :)

Notes From Love & Logic

Three Rules for Control Battles
1. Avoid a control battle at all costs. (use "brain dead" if you have to)
2. If you're going to get into a battle, win it at all costs.
3. Pick the issue carefully. Whenever a control battle is lost, it's because the issue wasn't chosen carefully.

-- Find the items you can control in a battle - for example, if a child will not eat their burger before you want to leave the restaurant, you cannot control if they eat, but you CAN control when the car leaves. They can leave with you either hungry or not hungry.

-- the greatest modifier of childrens' behavior by far is showing frustration. (for example, a race to the car with a child. "oh no, you beat me!" shows mock frustration. kids love it.) show a calm front to children.

-- in giving children choices - there are actually three. either the kid "does" or "doesn't", and the third option is that the parent decides.

-- the ONLY time to reason with children is when they are calm and both parties are happy (or, mostly so).

-- consequences need not be immediate, but provide the child with verbal feedback - something like, "not a wise choice. i'll get back to you on that."

Rules for Giving Choices

1. Always be sure to select choices that you as a parent like and can live with.
2. Never give a choice unless you are willing to let the child experience the consequences of the choices.
3. Never give choices when the child is in danger.
4. Always give only two verbal choices, but make sure the child knows there is the third implied choice.
5. Your delivery is important. Try to start your sentence with one of the following:
"You're welcome to (blank) or (blank)."
"Feel free to (blank) or (blank)."
"Would you rather (blank) or (blank)?"
"What would be best for you, (blank) or (blank)?"

-- giving multiple warnings only sets a child up for requiring multiple warnings.

Baby Animal Days

I have seen advertising for baby animal days every year but never went because A) I'd feel weird without a kid, and B) I imagined it was really super busy. This year's baby animal days was snowed on, so they extended it two more weekends. We went on the last day they were holding it, hoping by then the crowds would have diminished. It wasn't too busy. Jace is still a little young but liked looking at the animals. I had a super fun time!


Jace was a little wary of the crowd at first.


The cows mooing was very interesting.


Farm animals sure are smelly.


These goats make me laugh.


The bunnies were for sale. Torture!


Jace kept looking at me and giving me these cute smiles.


These turtles were adoptable only for "education and scientific study" or I'd probably have gotten one!


There was a really cool white peacock. They kept flying up into the treetops. I never realized they could get that high.


I got to hold baby chicks (4 days old and so tired they nearly fell over when you set them down) and baby ducks and we looked at cool old buildings and wooden toys. There were going to be gunfighters and a "candy cannon", but Jace was falling asleep by the end of it all so we decided to take him home.

We were going to drop him off with Auntie Carrie for a couple hours and go to lunch, but Carrie might be coming down with something so we just took him along. Tried out the new Chuck-a-rama. Still super busy and expensive, but it was a fun treat. Everyone said Jace was so cute and had the "rosiest cheeks ever". They are rosy, but for different reasons! Daddy let him try some of his mashed potato and I gave him little bits of apple sauce. Every time the spoon came toward him he was grabbing at it to get it closer faster.

I had a really great Saturday!